It all started with conversations. Conversations I was wondering if I was really hearing. I didn't want to be the pushy girl, in fact, I didn't even think of marriage yet, but my boy clearly had it on his mind.
It was a glorious summer sunny day in London. We woke up and took a walk to our favourite spot in Richmond park. Now, Londoners behave completely different to sunshine than South Africans. We wouldn't be caught dead tanning in the park, next to the road, in front of a big building or any odd patch of grass as soon as the sun starts shining, but I had to put my pride in my back pocket and pretend like it's normal and actually enjoyed this new found freedom. Freedom in the park. Glorious.
I wore this little outfit that's really only suitable as a cover up, but halfway to the park, John stopped in his tracks and suggested we rather go to Kingston. Somehow, our little lives came to this. We were going to look at rings.
I found a really nice white gold band with a modern setting. I was sure, this was the one. John smiled and walked away.
We had our tickets booked for our one year aniversary trip to Thailand. EVERY sunset walk down the beach I was expecting him to go down on his knee. Yet, when the sun set on our final perfect night in Phuket, I knew it wasn't going to happen there.
We got back to London and some time passed. One Saturday, we were walking around in Kingston again and John walked me into a jeweller. I looked at some rings, but it really was the one he found that made my heart beat faster. It was a similar setting to the first one we saw, but this one had a better line.
When we went back there on Sunday and he said I must go do shopping on my own. Everything inside me screamed he was going to buy me that ring. But this time, I wasn't going to think anything of it. I was going to make myself crazy thinking a proposal was around the corner.
That Thursday night my mother phoned me. I was talking to her jokingly saying that she needs to find a house down our street because me and John are going to make many babies that she'll need to take care of.
When I put the phone down, John looked at me and started the most serious conversation yet. He asked me if I thought that we were a traditional couple. Well, we met online and I flew to a different continent to meet you, so no. But if he was worried that my mother was going to move in with us, I was only joking.
No, still, he wanted to know if I thought us a traditional couple or not. I didn't have a clue what he was on about. Would I want to know if he bought a ring? And then I knew, he bought the ring.
I had to see it obviously! He made me go outside the room and wait there. He ruffled around in the room, then openened the door and an open white box with a beautiful ring inside was in his hand. That box slammed close and I had to wait while he hid it again. (Yes, I am that type of person... you would have to hide stuff from me because I will just start wearing it, whether the question was asked or not)
So began the long wait for the question. That was October 2007.
In April 2008 we came back to SA. One morning in June I was studying for my exams, opened the coffee cup cupboard and there was a little white box I recognised. So, I wore my ring the whole morning. Silly me told John about this, and that was the last I saw of that white box for a very long time.
John is exactly the opposite to me. He is calculated and precise. So, I had to just get over the fact that he would want all his ducks in a row before making any knee bowing action towards me
By September 2009 I was wondering whatever happened to that ring. Was it ever really going to be mine?
I didn't think that I would want to get married, I mean, I'm from a broken home so I can totally see the positives of just living together. But, there's a different side to me that I didn't knew existed before I knew John. He made me want to get married to him. He made me want to be with him forever - as his wife, not just his lover.
John was leaving for a work function in Bloemfontein the next morning at 3. So our sleeping arrangements had been weird. I was going nowhere. It was a weird night full of emotion. We never leave eachother's sides. Since that first meeting at the airport, we only spent a couple of days apart, but was spent on the phone practically the whole time.
He was weird this night. I couldn't put my finger on it. Maybe it's that thing we do when we know the other one is leaving, wanting to force every last drop of romance out of our last minutes together.
I wish I wrote it down as it had happened, but I didn't and now I can't remember everything exactly.
We sat on the couch and I could swear he was hiding something by his side! I leaned over and tried to sweep my hand between the pillows. He was laughing and playfull and said to me, here, here's your ring making a gesture with his hand. I had such a shock and said, oh my word, I nearly thought you were going to ask me to marry you! Again the conversation turned to engagement as it has over the last two years. Why was it so important to me to be engaged to him? Because it would mean that I am his. I belong to only him.
Why was the ring so important and what did it symbolise to me? I said it symbolises unity, trust and fidelity. It would be a sign to the world that I am not available anymore.
I got sad, I didn't want to always talk about this, I wanted what he wanted to give me when we were in London. He did that trick again, and once again I fell for it. He is such a prankster!
But I guess it hit a note in my soul and I started to cry and sat back with the pillow to cover my face.
I wanted him to ask me without me asking him to ask me.
Suddenly he jumped on top of me with a shiny thing in hs hand... Carina, he said, will you marry me??
And so my tears turned into happy tears. Yes! I will you silly guy! Why did you take so long?
He couldn't understand why I went off into the opposite direction, he wanted me to be happy so had to do something quickly. And yes, the ring was in the pillows in the couch the whole time!
The thing is, now, it's three years on since we chose that ring and I'm a different girl. So, while I still really love my ring, I was thinking of getting a wedding stone and merging the engagement and wedding ring into one.
Today I phoned a wonderful jeweller who knew exactly what I wanted. So, I'm waiting for my stone to make it's appearance and then we will begin the merging of our old and new life into one.
This is more or less the setting I'm going to go for, except that there's going to be two stones, set vertically on the band almost in the form of a pear shaped stone... if that makes sense.
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