Our Story - Part 8

There were so much to organize!

That first night back in my house, I can't describe. Here I was back in my old room. My sanctuary of old.

When I was at school I painted this huge fairy on my wall and to stand testimony to my wonderful mother, she never had it taken off.  She always found ways to support me and my latest indulgences, even when I was totally unsupportable by the world.

I lied there with my own thoughts, thinking how amazing it was that my life took such a wonderful turn.

Wonderfully enveloped by this dreamy reality that soon I will be finally kissing and hugging this wonderful, soft natured man that made me realize that good men still exist. He just had a way of knowing who I was, not trying to change me, but giving me the strength to believe in myself.

 I slept with his picture next to my pillow, all I wanted was to see him, smell him, feel the texture of his skin, the warmth of his body. Imagining what he would kiss like, what he would hug like. All those texts, msn chats and emails were testimony to our longing for some physical touch. Emotionally, we were one.

But, being me and a complete worry wart, I had so many fears too. 

It's different meeting someone online. You don't have those instant filter mechanisms.  And just because you like someone for their laugh and the way they make a smiley face and do little xoxo's after their texts, doesn't necessarily mean that you will like their height, hip measurements, bust measurements, hair style, fashion sense or shoe choices.
So much research goes into what happens to you when you first get attracted to someone, producing pheromones to drug the men into loving you. But I couldn't drug him with all the pheromones in the world, because we didn't have touch or smell. And John, well he was infinitely more attractive than the blokes I've had it on with before. And that makes a paranoid person's mind go crazy with panic attacks over cellulite and un-cool clothes.

My mother and I drove to Pretoria. We were over-nighting at my aunt's. We went for dinner at the Beef & Lobster.  I couldn't let an opportunity go by to get another lecture by my greek ex-boss about how I could be found chopped up in a boot somewhere, or never be found.

 I just smiled and screamed a silent happy scream! It was happening!